Small Comfort
by daenabenjen42
Summary: Han meets someone while out on a supply run for the alliance... post-ANH.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Small Comforts  
Author: DaenaBenjen42  
Characters: Han, Chewie... Ismaren Family...  
Genre: Drama  
Timeframe: post-ANH (AU for Splinter of the Mind's Eye)  
Disclaimer: Happily playing in the sandbox.

* * *

Han could feel the weight of his companion's sidelong glare as he piloted away from the supply depot. The Wookiee hadn't so much as said two words the entire time they had bartered with suppliers, and had only bothered to grunt unintelligibly twice to show his displeasure...

"And we'll take a gross of those," he said as he pointed to something that he vaguely recognized as food. The supplier person nodded and finished the order for them.

Walking away with a hoversled packed with supplies, he bumped into someone. A female someone. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," the beautiful stranger told him timidly, avoiding his eyes.

Han suddenly realized that she was holding a little boy in her hands. "Are you all right?"

"Fine."

He stared to reach out to her, but Chewie grunted, and Han suddenly remembered that they were on a limited timeframe as it was. Still... something in her tone told him that nothing was, in fact, fine. "Ma'am?"

"What?"

Even the one-word responses had an edge to them. "Are you in need of some assistance?"

She shook her head. "Not really."

"We could give you a ride if need be." At that, Chewie grunted again, reminding him that they needed to be going.

Finally she looked at him. "You would do that?"

"Can you pay?"

She laughed. "Of course. You offering?"

"Yes."

...which was why Chewbacca was glaring at him. "We couldn't leave them there, you know." Getting no response other than a glare, Han sighed as he completed the jump to lightspeed. Then he stood up, shook his head, and left the cockpit.

Entering the small lounge area, he stopped and watched as the woman interacted with the little boy. They seemed so... normal. Was that the word he'd wanted? Probably not, but it fit.

The woman tore her attention away from the boy, noticing him at last. "Oh, it's you."

Han laughed softly. "Were you expecting someone else?"

"Not really. Could have been your large furry companion, too." She frowned at him. "Does he do more than grunt?"

"Yes," Han said as he sat down in a chair and faced them. "Bad day and we're a little behind."

"Oh." She turned her attention back to the child and made a face at him. "Thank you for getting us out of there..."

"It's Han," he helpfully supplied. "And don't mention it. Your name would be?"

"Roganda."

"On the run?"

"No. Ran into some storm troopers. They... recognized me from their tour of duty on Coruscant."

"Sounds like you're on the run." At her mild glare, he mentally backpeddled. "Or not... We've got a stop to make to drop off our cargo. There anywhere you need to be?"

She gazed at him for a long moment, then nodded. "I'm taking my son to a surgeon. Irek, say hello to the nice man." The little boy, who couldn't have been more than three or four years old, shook his head at her. "Come on, now. Han here is nice and now not a stranger." He shook his head again, buried his face in her shirt front, and Roganda tried to smile at Han. "Sorry. He's not accustomed to talking to new people yet."

"No need to be sorry. Why are you taking him to a surgeon?"

For several long minutes, she didn't speak and avoided his gaze. Then she sighed and met his eyes squarely. "You'll think it's crazy."

"Lady, I live crazy on a daily basis."

That answer must have amused her, because she laughed. "All right. I found a way for him to manipulate machines through the Force, but it has to be done when he's young or it won't work."

Han had heard many weird or just plain down right odd things in his life, but this... this was one of the stranger. "Isn't that dangerous?"

"I prefer not to think of it that way, Captain."

Somehow, that answer did not fill him with confidence.

~*~*~*~*~

After dropping of the supplies at the Rebel base, checking in with General Rieekien, and finding out that the Kid and the Princess weren't back yet, Han had gone out again and taken the woman and her son to their destination on some backwater out of the way planet.

Sitting in the cantina and waiting for her to show up, he was getting restless and edgy. She should have been here by now.

Deciding not to wait another ten minutes, Han got up out of his seat and made for the door. He was outside the cantina when he felt the ground tremble beneath him. It was weak and didn't last very long, but he know a groundquake when he felt one. Looking around, he didn't see any damage immediately, but looking down the street, he did.

A building was in ruins. Hand on his sidearm as he walked quickly, he got the building before anyone else... was this the place that she'd told him she'd be? Pulling his blaster, he carefully entered the building. There was rubble everywhere.

He found her in what would have resembled an operating theater if it had still been intact. She was sitting on a rock, staring at a pile of rubble and slowly rocking back and forth. Wordlessly, he took her in his arms, knowing he didn't need to say anything. Words meant nothing to her now, but something tangible, a touch, meant everything.

"I didn't mean for it to happen," she sobbed when she finally let herself speak, voice harsh with emotion. It made him wince to hear something so raw and unbridled. "I didn't..."

"I know," he gently whispered into her ear.

"Did it?"

Wanting to protect her for just this moment, he shook his head. "Only if you believe it did, Roganda. Only then." Glancing around at the scattered debris, he shuddered involuntarily. So much destruction...

"It was supposed to be a simple," she said a while later. No one had come and he hadn't let go. She hadn't wanted him to let go. "Come to this place, get the procedure done. Simple."

"And?"

She motioned to the debris. "It wasn't. Not even close."

He nodded. When he'd hooked up with her, the idea to put her son through a procedure to help him influence mechanicals with the Force hadn't seemed safe at all. The very thought had seemed dangerous from the start.

She pushed herself out of his arms and stood up. Glaring down at a rock, she kicked it. Watching it bounce off, she kicked another, and then another... "It should have been me!" As she ran out of small rocks and made ready to kick a bigger one, he grabbed her from behind. "Let me go, you oaf!"

"No. You'll hurt yourself."

"So?" The rhetorical question was met with silence as she seethed and stared at the rock she'd been about to kick. "What difference does it make it I hurt myself?"

"It makes a big difference to me, Roganda."

"Why does it make a difference to you if I hurt my foot? It's my foot, and I can hurt myself if I want to!"

He sighed and released his grip, realizing that if he didn't let her at least try to kick something, he'd be next. It wasn't exactly a secret between them that she'd had some serious and hard training at one point. "All right... if you feel like you deserve to hurt, I won't stop you."

She looked from him, to the rock, and back again. "You mean that?"

"Of course I do." More than she knew...

Sighing, she sat down on the rock instead of kicking it, and just looked at him hollowly for a minute or two. He returned the gaze evenly, and she looked away. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"Coming after me, Solo." She shook her head and glanced around again at the scattered debris. "It's just... so much time and effort for this, I failed at the first step, and the ground quake, and..."

He sat down across from her and put a hand on her knee. "I couldn't not come."

She glanced at him, blinking hard at the gesture. "And I'm really glad you did."

They sat there for a another minute or two before Han stood up and held out his hand. "Come on. Let's get you out of here and find something to eat."

"But what about...?"

"We'll deal with it. Food first."

She stared at him, then nodded, took his hand, and stood up. "Lead on, Captain."

Picking up the blaster that he'd set down in a hurry and reholstering it, Han led her away from the husk of a building.

~*~*~*~

Life in the cantina was going on around her as she stared at the table top, intent on thinking of nothing but the sturdy mesh that made up the table. It should have worked...

"Here," her companion said, interrupting her train of thought as he set a drink down in front of her.

She glanced at it, noting it was actually caf and not something else, and looked away again. "Not thirsty."

"Drink anyway."

"This is supposed to be a festive time, but... sure doesn't feel that way. Not at all."

He reached across the table and took hold of her hand gently. "I know it doesn't, Lady Ismaren."

She snorted incredulously. "I'm no lady, Solo. Just like you're not an officer... Where's your shadow, by the way?"

"Waiting for us at the ship."

She nodded and glanced at the cup of caf again. "Why caf?"

"Comfort food."

"Mmm... Solo?"

"Yes?"

She fought to meet his gaze evenly, relieved when she found compassion there. A tear slid down her cheek and she began to shake her head slightly. "I wasn't trying to kill my child. I didn't mean for it to end like that. I really, really didn't."

"I understand that part, Roganda."

She was silent for several long moments as she stared at the cup of caf, then looked at him again. "Irek caused the quake, I think."

Han frowned. "What makes you say that?"

Roganda motioned to the activity going around them in the cantina. "It was too localized and there's nothing broken here."

"That doesn't mean..."

"Plus, I felt a surge in the Force right when Irek was waking up from the procedure. That's why I think he did it."

"Ah. Don't know much about the Force," Han muttered as he broke her gaze and looked away. "Hokey religion and nonsense to me."

For a moment, Roganda thought she'd seen pain reflected in his eyes, and it made her wonder. What had his life been like before she'd met up with him? She frowned. "No, Solo. It's very real... it's in all of us. In everything." She picked up the cup of caf with her free hand. "Even in this."

Han turned back to stare at her as she finally allowed herself to drink the caf. "You make it sound so simple."

"It is... I've had better caf. Way better," she said as she winked at him and he chuckled.

"I figure that's an indicator of how good this place is."

"No, I got that from the mesh table top. Nice dive you found on Solstice Eve, Solo."

Han shook his head as he leaned closer. "No, calling it a dive would elevate it six notches. I've been in places that were dives... they have better caf."

She set the cup down and leaned closer to him, purposefully copying his body language. "Oh really?"

"Really."

Roganda smiled, accepting the humor of that statement. "Thank you." And then she kissed him.

* * *

the end... for now...


	2. Detour to Hoth

A/N: After much encouragement, I decided to continue.

* * *

She was tracing shapes on the Dejarik table when he entered the hold and set a bundle down beside her. "Not hungry."

"It's not food, Lady Ismaren. We'll be landing soon and it's cold. This is a jacket and warm boots for you."

Roganda glanced at the bundle. "How cold?"

"It snows year round."

She watched him go and then pulled the bundle closer and opened it. Not only did it contain a warm jacket, but it was a heavy-duty one! Which made sense, really, if it snowed year round. And the boots were a size too big, but they'd do.

* * *

Walking down the entry ramp to the _Falcon_ and into a busy hangar, she couldn't help but blink at all the activity. And the uniformity of the clothing. She'd expected smugglers or something similar. Not this. Were these... Rebels? "Solo?"

"Yes?"

"Tell me this isn't the Rebel Alliance." She glanced at him, hoping for a negative shake of the head, and instead saw only confirmation. Her first instinct was to march right back up the ramp and forget she knew this place existed. To forget that it was a Rebel sympathizer who had offered her a place to be. "It is?"

"Yes."

"I shouldn't be here."

He stared at her, unblinking. "Then where would you go? Back where I found you?"

"Anywhere else."

"Why?"

She opened her mouth to retort, to say something, but stopped at the expression in his eyes. At the reminder of what had brought her here. The deceit. The lies. The pain. "Because."

Han shook his head slowly. "Because is not a good enough reason and can mean a lot of things. Hungry?"

"No."

At the rumble of her stomach, he frowned at her knowingly. "Well I am. Let's go."

Following him, she hugged the jacket closer and shivered against the chill. Wherever this was, it was very, very cold. And this was just the hangar bay! "Cold here."

"Yes," he gritted out.

"Going to tell me where?"

"No."

Frustrated, Roganda rolled her eyes and followed him around a corner, into the mess hall... and bumped into someone. She blinked and stared at the man in the grey fatigues. "Watch where you're going."

The man shook his head slowly, smiled. "I'll try to be more careful."

She frowned at him, at once finding the guy kind of cute, but also wanting to get as far away from him as possible. Maybe it was the smile. His very cute and inviting smile... "Thank you." Stepping around him, she continued to follow Han, who had stopped to watch. "What?"

Han's eyebrows were raised, but he nodded in greeting to the man obviously still standing behind her. "Janson."

The man had the nerve to chuckle. "Solo. Good supply run?"

"Not really. Luke and the Princess around?"

Roganda blinked in surprise at his wording. Princess? No. It couldn't be. Could it?

"Just got back yesterday."

"Oh? Good." Han's eyes flickered to her, and she glared at him. "Roganda, this is Wes Janson."

"We've met," Roganda told him, her voice tight with frustration. Now she knew he was doing this to annoy her. At his mild glare, she turned to face Janson and stuck out a hand. "Roganda Ismaren." He shook her hand, nodded to Han, and left them alone. Slowly, she turned to face him again. "Was that necessary?"

"You'll be meeting lots of people, Lady Ismaren. Some of them prank-loving pilots." With that, Han pivoted on his heel and led the way to the food.

* * *

Leia looked up from reading an Alliance report to find Han Solo had arrived in the makeshift mess hall and was presently getting himself something to eat. When he turned around, she could see the amused expression on his face. She frowned, taking in the normality that had been lacking since arriving back on Hoth. Then she saw the woman following him and dropped the datapad in shock.

Blinking at the sound, she tore her gaze from the woman and picked the datapad back up. She stared at it for long moments, at first believing she'd been seeing things, that she hadn't seen who she thought she saw...

"Leia?"

Leia forced herself not to jump at the sudden intrusion, reminding herself it was a small mess hall. She raised her head to find Han standing there with a puzzled and curious expression on his face, and that impossibility of a person beside him, who was now staring back at her with as much shock as she herself felt. "Back so soon, Captain?"

His posture relaxed, though his expression didn't change. "Can't seem to stay away, your worship."

Oh, good. He was going to follow her lead. She glanced at his companion. "And your friend?"

His smile was pained and made her curious. "Long story." He opened his mouth to say more, but the woman interrupted him.

"Princess Senator Organa?" The woman asked, shock as clearly in her voice as it had been on her face. "So... this is where you disappeared off to."

Han blinked and slowly turned to look at her. "You know Leia?"

"Yes," Leia told him, saving Roganda from saying anything else. "We know each other. She was... an aide in the Senate. Good to see you again, Roganda." She motioned to the table. "Join me? Both of you?" Roganda nodded and pulled up a chair, setting her tray on the table, and mouthed 'thank you' to her. Leia simply nodded and glanced up at Han in question.

After a moment, he acquiesced and joined them as well. There were questions in his eyes, and Leia would make it a point to find some way to answer them.

Something occurred to her as she looked at Roganda over the top of the datapad. Someone was missing. Glancing at Han, she motioned with her eyes to the other woman, and he shook his head slightly. Ah. Not now. Nodding, Leia let them eat in peace, watching all the while as Roganda didn't seem to want to eat, and Han glared at her until she started eating again.

TBC…


	3. a promise

Leia was trying to make small talk and failing miserably when Roganda pulled something from her pocket, set it on the table between them. Leia stared uncomprehendingly at the device for a minute before meeting Roganda's steady gaze.

"I won't be needing it," the other woman told her succinctly, simply, and began to eat again.

Leia's gaze moved to Han, who was staring at the device with an expression of quizzical interest. "You know what it is."

Han nodded. "Long range, military grade communications device. The kind that comes with a tracking beacon." He glanced at Roganda. "Why didn't you tell me you had one of these?"

She tilted her head, studying him with an air that suddenly made him want to back far away from her. Really far. Tatooine wouldn't have been far enough. "Do you show all your cards, all the time, Captain?"

"No."

Roganda nodded. "There's your answer. Princess, with your permission, I'd like it destroyed." She took a bite, chewed, swallowed. Stared at her fork for a long moment, as if just now realizing she was holding one, blinked, and looked at Leia. "I have no reason to return to Coruscant. Nor do I want to."

Leia nodded to the device. "Is it active?"

"No."

"Then keep it for now and we'll see about destroying it."

"Is this seat taken?" a young man asked as he sat down next to Leia with a tray, completely missing the device and Roganda quickly putting it back into her pocket.

Han chuckled as he took in the melting snow on Luke's cold weather gear. "No, it's not taken, Kid. Patrol?" Luke nodded and began to eat before realizing there was an extra person seated next to Han. He looked at Han in question. "Long story," Han told him. "Roganda, this is Luke Skywalker."

Roganda studied the young man for a moment or two, eyes glinting in curiosity. Was this...? No. He seemed far too young and earnest to have taken out the Death Star. "Pleased to meet you." He nodded in response and resumed eating, the kind of reaction which normally would have amused her, but now was only irritating. How could they be so... normal?

Years from now...

Roganda followed Mara's gaze to her hands and nodded. "I didn't get these trying to break out of anything."

"What?"

"I was angry. Lost. Confused about why these people who didn't know me from a hole in the wall were being so nice and supportive." A chuckle escaped her lips. "I'm still not sure who was more shocked: me or Wes."

Mara frowned at her. "What do you mean?"

Roganda met her gaze squarely. "Have you ever been so angry you wanted to kick rocks until you broke every bone in both feet?"

That question drew Mara up short. "I... once."

Roganda held up a scarred hand. "That's how this happened. I was angry and confused and the walls were made of ice. Wes had to tackle me to the ground."

Ailee, who had been silent up until now, sighed. "Ice walls? Roganda, really."

"Is that why Solo wanted you to work with a punching bag?" Mara wondered.

Roganda nodded. "It was. It's also the reason I never get out of talking about anything. Because I once didn't and nearly broke every bone in both hands."

Now...

He was on his way back from a briefing when he heard it: a grunting, rhythmic sound filled with pain that made his skin crawl. Frowning, he rounded the next turn... and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of a woman punching a wall repeatedly. Shocked that anyone would do such a thing, especially here where the walls had been carved into the snow and hardened for stability, he could only stare for long moments.

Suddenly, she started screaming unintelligibly with each punch and he found himself spurred into action, tackling her to the ground faster than he really had time to think about it. Stunned, he sat there on the ground, holding her firmly as she started to weep inconsolably.

In minutes that felt like years, another person had joined them and helped him get her up off the cold ground. Carefully, they led her to medical without looking back at the stained icy wall that was the only evidence of her outburst aside from her mangled hands.

* * *

She was silent as the 2-1B unit made her soak both hands in a Bacta bath, and Wes was left to wonder what it was that had made her so emotional. She didn't exactly seem the type to have a psychotic break.

She glanced at him, looked away. "Thank you."

"For tackling you?"

"Yes." Roganda glanced at him again. "Why help me? You don't know me."

Wes pushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes. "I know enough, and why not?"

"I could be the enemy, for all you know."

He studied her for a moment. "Are you?"

She looked away with a sigh. "Not now."

That was enough to make him wonder about where she'd come from, what kind of things she had done in her life before ending up on Hoth with the Rebel Alliance. "Then you're not the enemy."

She rolled her eyes at him. "You don't have to sit here with me. It's just a Bacta bath."

"I was just getting off shift. Here is as good a place as any." And now he was interested... really interested. She'd gone from hitting a wall with her bare hands, to weeping in his arms, to flirting with him while her hands were soaking in Bacta in less than an hour.

"Why is everyone so nice?" she asked suddenly, making him blink in curiosity. "Even the mechanicals are nice!"

Wes frowned at her. "Have you given us reason not to be?"

"I guess not."

"There's your answer."

She shrugged and stared at her hands for a minute. "That is a point, isn't it?"

* * *

Han was fixing something in the Falcon's galley when Roganda turned up with bandaged hands, and he frowned at her in passing. "What happened to you?"

She sighed, held up a hand. "This could have been avoided if you'd let me kick something before."

He chuckled. "Hungry?"

She eyed what he'd made, shuddered. "I'll pass."

"Be glad it's not ice chips." At her frown, Han sobered and gave a shrug. "Lockdown. No supplies. After that, anything looks good."

She stared at him for a moment, not quite believing what he'd just said. "Is everyone around here a comedian?"

"Seems that way sometimes, doesn't it?" Studying her, Han set down his sandwich and leaned against the bulkhead. "It's more than wanting to hit something, isn't it?"

She sighed again. "Everyone here has been so nice. Too nice. It's weird."

Han shook his head slowly, picked the sandwich back up, and left the galley, munching as he went. Finishing it, he glanced around to see that she'd followed him. "Would it make you feel better if they weren't?"

"Maybe. I don't deserve everyone being so nice to me!"

Han didn't immediately respond, but instead lowered himself into an access hole. Looking down at the part that had failed, he sighed. "Hand me a hydrospanner, would you?"

Gingerly, she did so. "Here. You really should have let me kick those rocks, Captain. Ow."

Han paused and looked up at her. "Oh?"

"Yes."

"Fine. Next time you want to kick something, I won't stop you."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

The sincerity in his eyes made her smile. "Good."

"Even if that something you want to kick is a bulkhead."

She blinked at his wording. "Thank you."

They spent the next hour or so working on the ship…

* * *

TBC…


End file.
